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Yes, both partners in a civil union can choose what surnames they will be known by.
He should inform the Master of the High Court that the whole family was not included in the nomination of who should wind up the estate.
Visa application fees vary but all must be paid in addition to the VFS application fee of R1,550.
The safest course is to assume that you are indeed married, and apply to Home Affairs for a marriage certificate, which you will need in order to get divorced.
If you are not sure about your meds, contact your clinic, doctor or pharmacy ASAP.
As you are undetectable there is no risk of HIV reinfection from a partner who is HIV-positive but not on ARVs.
If the value of the estate is less than R250,000, the Master of the High Court may issue a letter of authority, in terms of section 18(3) of the Administration of Estates Act.
The fact that you use her maiden surname and she has changed hers does not make you any less her son.
If your mother died without making a will, the Intestate Succession Act would apply.
You can apply for a disability grant at your nearest SASSA office.